Blog / The modern-age disease from the perspective of an expert / How to establish a balance between professional and private ‘self’
15/04/2019
The modern-age disease from the perspective of an expert
How to establish a balance between professional and private ‘self’
Ivana Vukmirica Baćanović, psychologist, marriage and family psychotherapist
How to establish a balance between professional and private ‘self’
At present times, it may seem to us that the line between the business and private spheres is ever thinner and that establishing the balance is increasingly difficult. In addition to the fact that people are online and available almost all the time, that they continuously respond to e-mails and bring computers home, an impression is gained that the previous ways of overcoming family-work or work-family conflicts are becoming ever more infested with work problems in general.

According to Henna Inam, a leadership consultant, we need a shift in work paradigm aimed at better understanding of work-family harmony as opposed to the dichotomy of this relationship, perhaps because understanding of this relationship is a necessary condition for coping with ever more challenging time in which we are supposed to give our maximum both at work and in the family. The texts on ‘how to be successful at work’, ‘how to bring up children’, ‘how to have a fulfilled marriage’, ‘how to develop your full potentials‘, ‘how to be happy‘ – should represent pieces of advice, tools for support. However, they can nowadays additionally create a feeling that we are not always up to the task in all our life roles and that the luck has been slipping away from us.

‘I like my job because substance is valued over form, personal work style is esteemed, I am appreciated, I do not feel that life starts after I finish working‘, would be the words of a person who manages to achieve a balance between private and business spheres. An impression is gained from this that the employer is the one who enables all that and that the responsibility lies, as usually, with ‘the big shot’, i.e. the employer. Tips for those who find it difficult to achieve this balance are always welcome:

• Do not set too high goals – be realistic to both yourself and others, and accordingly, do not judge yourself too harshly if you have not managed to do everything you have planned.
• Do not burden yourself with the past and memories of failures – each new day is a new opportunity, accept the fact that no one can give his/her maximum in all life roles all the time.
• Do not forget yourself and your own needs, do not forget what is important to you – among other things, your children should not think that you should put their needs always ahead of yours. Besides, employer should also be aware of the boundaries between business and private spheres.
• If you have a difficult time – do not put up with it; look for support in family and among friends. If you feel the pressure is too big, look for professional help.
• It is often difficult to understand in economically and socially underdeveloped societies that there are choices and possibilities of improving the present personal situation, such as changing a job or in case of a divorce. Therefore, one should always bear in mind that everyone can take a break and look at the situation from some other perspective.

Actually, if I had to single out a message or an advice at the end, it would be: work on relationships! Numerous studies, such as UNICEF’s and Hemofarm’s, reveal that the quality of interpersonal relationships is the factor of personal experience of happiness. Close relationships make people happy more than tangible things and they act as protection from actual discontents that life brings about. The same goes for employers – show better understanding and support to your employees.
AUTHOR
Ivana Vukmirica Baćanović,
psychologist, marriage and family psychotherapist