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Closeness is the foundation of every love
15. Feb 2024.
Closeness is the foundation of every love, whether it be romantic, parental, or friendly, concluded the participants of the "A Cup of Coffee with a Psychologist" panel, held on Valentine's Day under the theme "Can Love Last," adding that closeness provides a sense of security and a feeling of worth to individuals.

"I believe the idea in a lasting romantic and partnership relationship is the readiness to accept that love will gradually fade and be reborn. If we believe it will last, untouched in eternal splendor, I think we limit it significantly," stated Đurđa Timotijević, a psychologist. She added that the term "lasting infatuation" is contradictory because infatuation and desire are directed towards something new, while time and success work against it, causing infatuation to inevitably diminish, bringing disappointment.


Đurđa Timotijević, psychologist


"The longevity of love lies in being willing to accept small endings and new beginnings, and not relying solely on love in relationships," she said, defending infatuation by stating that we must not "forget that infatuation can give meaning to life."

Milan Nikolić, philologist, and journalist, mentioned that some people separate the physical or sexual aspect from the emotional aspect of love and can be in an open relationship. He assessed that an open relationship primarily tests the maturity of a person, a decision that may be easy to make but challenging to implement.


Milan Nikolić, philologist and journalist


Nikolić emphasized that many aspects of love were earlier "swept under the rug due to societal hypocrisy," which is unfair primarily to individuals and especially unfair to women in our society. He stressed that we should not forget that the institution of dating is only 100 years old, while arranged marriages, where the bride did not know whom she would marry until the end, were prevalent in our region before that, and the groom was mostly indifferent.


pise ‘A Cup of Coffee with a Psychologist’ panel drew a full audience at Dorćol Platz


Discussing profiles of people seeking soulmates online, Nikolić said that many are looking for a relationship "just without drama," and added that in the perception of many people, "love equals drama, jealousy, slamming doors, control, a sea of stress, and arguments, leading to giving up on it." He pointed out that these behaviors are learned from parents, but the spirit of the times also influences them.

Ognjenka Lakićević, a poet and musician, considers love important and significant when it makes a person better and contributes to personal growth.


Ognjenka Lakićević, poet and musician


She added that those who did not have stable relationships and consistency in relationships with parents seek a fantasy of salvation in love. People grow up hoping that someone will come and save them with their love. That someone may not come, but someone with whom we can work on the relationship and who is equally interested and willing to show vulnerability may come, said Lakićević. She emphasized that if we haven't seen good role models in the family and if "deep wounds" were what we continued to do through relationships and repeatedly hurt ourselves in them, "it won't be easy to realize that we are worthy because we have been rejected many times."


Dragan Ilić, Suzana Đorđević, Đurđa Timotijević, Ognjenka Lakićević, Milan Nikolić


The "A Cup of Coffee with a Psychologist" panel is organized by the Hemofarm Foundation in partnership with the Faculty of Philosophy, University of Belgrade, and the Art commune Dorćol Platz, and is part of the campaign to combat depression and the stigma "Unbreakable."